Fail Better

2016.01.15_fail better.jpg

Mel Howard | January, 15 2016

The other day I was feeling kinda down. This is ridiculous because, in no particular order of importance and definitely not limited to;

–       I am healthy. Very healthy.

–       I am loved. Extraordinarily, by wonderful friends and family.

–      Four weeks ago I returned from a ten-week European adventure and subsequent east coast Christmas tour to visit aforementioned loving family.

–       For the past 14 days I have lived in paradise on Earth aka Byron Bay, with a wonderful couple who treat me like royalty.

–      This year is so full of potential for me to be the happiest I’ve ever been, that                 sometimes I think I might physically burst. It’s gross.

On this day though, all of these facts seemed unimportant and trivial because usually I expect things will be bad, or go bad, or never happen at all.

I called my friend Juliet.

You know those people who always pick you up? That’s her. She’s full of genuine interest and inspiration and positivity. As I quizzed her on the progress she’s made and her expectations for this incredible 100 challenge (note, she’d just read four pages of her current book on the escalator walking to her car), I felt my own insecurities disperse into enthusiasm for her excitement. Her happiness in achieving for enjoyment sake was completely contagious.

I remembered feeling this way a few weeks back. In a gorgeous wine and cheese bar in Verona with my best friend Jess. A little lubricated and embarrassingly inspired, we vowed to live by a Samuel Beckett quote I found somewhere, sometime and fell in love with like the sucker I am;

‘Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.’

I’ve since tracked down the source of this quote down via millions of memes and as expected, its original in-text reference from his 1983 publication Worstward Ho sadly resulted in its losing a little of its initial magic. But out of context, as I knew it then, and because there was Jess and wine and brown cheese paper to write love letters to each other on, it became my mantra to believe that things won’t be bad, or go bad, or never happen at all.

Before calling Juliet, I had been forgetting the simplest part of my new mantra; try. Before I knew it, our conversation snowballed over phrases like “you should write too… about anything… new things, people you meet, places you go, books, films, gigs, cook with me!” and finally settled into a giant snowman with a placard reading “You can have a column!”

So, here I am. Armed with a new lease on life, a new home, routine, a brand new perspective and attitude to say ‘let’s give it a red hot go!’

This year I will try. Whole-heartedly and in view of people I hope and feel already are kind. With Juliet and everyone I now love and will love to come.

Fail Better. by m_girling for thejulietreport.


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