Coping as a couple — together or apart — through Coronavirus
Coping as a couple — together or apart — through Coronavirus
Maintaining a loving relationship, whether there’s a pandemic going on or not, is never an easy feat. Relationships take work and now, it’s fair to say, it will take some extra muscle on both parts to keep conflict low and connection high.
With that said, here are some tips and tricks for couples who are in isolation together and for those isolating apart, to cultivate closeness.
1. Carve out time for a date night at home, and for those apart, get creative and use video conferencing. Here are some ideas:
Read each other a few pages of your favourite book/article/blog and discuss what you like about it.
Go dancing and dance like no one is watching (‘cos they ain’t!). Whether you simply pump the tunes loud or find a YouTube video on How To Salsa, dress up, get your bodies moving and tune into each other physically.
Have a “conscious conversation”. Set the topic (future dreams/sex and intimacy/trust and commitment) and each write down three questions you’re curious to know about your partner, as well as happy to be asked by them. Take turns asking and answering. See where the conversation leads. You may learn something new about each other that brings you closer. If you need more of a guide, get yourself a copy of Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman.
2. Say something nice to each other. While the saying “actions speak louder than words”, rings true for many, expressing your appreciation and love towards your partner is extremely powerful. And is one of the most vulnerable and courageous acts we can do. Especially when things are wobbly, a simple “I love you” can feel like a warm cup of comforting cocoa.
3. Drop random acts of kindness. Whether it’s simply bringing them a cup of tea or making the bed, the smallest gestures can go a long way in keeping your relationship strong. This shows your partner that you’re considering them and acknowledging how you can make their life that little bit better, particularly in this time of unpredictability. For those apart, consider sending your loved one a package in the post, or drop something at their door.
4. Complete a Couples Workshop Online Hold Me Tight is an online workshop for couples designed around seven conversations based on the Hold Me Tight book by Dr. Sue Johnson. The workshop takes couples through seven conversations that have been shown to be essential for successful, lasting relationships. Workshop exercises are based on the science of love and the wisdom of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. In these turbulent times, our relationships are our greatest strengths. By nurturing these bonds, we are honouring our human need for connection and protecting ourselves from distance and disconnection.
Written by Natalie Claire King, Couples Therapist.
From Melbourne
@natalie.couples.therapist
www.natalieclaireking.com
